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Thread: Battling Elevation

  1. #16
    The Bosnian Bos's Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Aight cool
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  2. #17
    Blood and Sand Maximus's Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Wow

  3. #18
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Wow?


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  4. #19
    GenericUserTitle E-bien's Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    yooo, I've had a few battles just been gettin used to dis, n realised u need to do ya research on da nigga ya battlin etc. but still cnt get why my last sets bin rated so weak... for example i battled a dude in the AAFES n used this

    Ur not street ur a family guy, send another up,
    Monster, please, u put a pic of ya mother up,
    betta cover up, like dis was battle ground trainin,
    Ass 4 money only thing dis nigga exchangin,
    Won't go racist, fuck a whitey fuck a blackie,
    Im british, so if u wanna hit aim for an iraqi,
    Sick of playin games, now barz got me-bored,
    Only time dis bitch see f5's on a key-board,
    try fly, U won't fly high with any rhymes,
    Ur just a pussy who watched top gun too many times

    but basically got told it wuz shit lol I like dis site dude, any chance of some help? Peace
    Is it a bird? is it a plane? Nope, I'm trippin cuz I ain't slept for three days... Mephs a helluva drug

  5. #20
    GenericUserTitle E-bien's Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Is it a bird? is it a plane? Nope, I'm trippin cuz I ain't slept for three days... Mephs a helluva drug

  6. #21
    GenericUserTitle E-bien's Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    bump
    Is it a bird? is it a plane? Nope, I'm trippin cuz I ain't slept for three days... Mephs a helluva drug

  7. #22
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    I need help with coming up with better concepts and executing punches. I'm fine with setups, flow and multies pretty much....
    But it's like I'll come up with some really good ideas and the wording is either, well, too wordy or I just don't quite finish it right. I actually have a lot of concepts and a good vocabulary I just need help with wording and flipping things around.
    Maybe someone could give me some concepts as an example and see what I come up with, then critique me. I'd appreciate it. Thanks guys

  8. #23
    I'll have the gabagool Fresh's Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Quote Originally Posted by Wine-O View Post
    I need help with coming up with better concepts and executing punches. I'm fine with setups, flow and multies pretty much....
    But it's like I'll come up with some really good ideas and the wording is either, well, too wordy or I just don't quite finish it right. I actually have a lot of concepts and a good vocabulary I just need help with wording and flipping things around.
    Maybe someone could give me some concepts as an example and see what I come up with, then critique me. I'd appreciate it. Thanks guys
    try coming with your punchline first and then get to the setup.


    you have to make concepts a combination of metaphors, wordplays/nameplays, personal (makin fun of their avy, title, sig, profile, any previous quotes he may have made, and if you stay here long enough youll get to know people and have more personals on them).

    think of a concept like "over your head" (I find phrases/sayings and idioms are a good thing to add in a punchline)
    so over your could mean hes short, but also stupid, or hes low on the totem pole of skill.. shitty example but think of a decent concept then draw a box and on the outside of that box write all the ideas you can associate with it. once youve juiced it you should be able turn it into something.

  9. #24
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Ok cool thanks man I appreciate it

  10. #25
    Kami no kotoba. Wordz AhGod.'s Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    anybody looking for honest feed tag me on their post and I'll do the best I can to tell you why your shit is fucked up.. no bullshit.
    カミノコトバ

  11. #26
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Help me please. Need to elevate again

  12. #27
    Kami no kotoba. Wordz AhGod.'s Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Quote Originally Posted by E-bien View Post
    yooo, I've had a few battles just been gettin used to dis, n realised u need to do ya research on da nigga ya battlin etc. but still cnt get why my last sets bin rated so weak... for example i battled a dude in the AAFES n used this

    Ur not street ur a family guy, send another up,
    Monster, please, u put a pic of ya mother up,
    the wording was bad on this, you write here like if your writing to a beat, this in text is a problem because you're cutting yourself short. To understand the proper syllable count for text, you will need to watch more live battles like Smack, king of the dot, etc. In text, rhyming the word up with itself is frowned upon as a lack of creativity. The concept in itself here wasn't too bad but you lack harshness due to the lack of wording. Too many commas can make your flow seem choppy, the reading should be natural and fluid.
    betta cover up, like dis was battle ground trainin,
    Ass 4 money only thing dis nigga exchangin,
    same as above, you also need to build up to the punch and use a form of misdirection. in your bar you should explain why he's exchanging sex for money and why should we dislike him for it other then the obvious reason. Put a little more thought into it.
    Won't go racist, fuck a whitey fuck a blackie,
    Im british, so if u wanna hit aim for an iraqi,
    this wasn't a punch at all, it just rhymed, didn't have any sting or thought behind it that would make us look at it and say that its fresh.
    Sick of playin games, now barz got me-bored,
    Only time dis bitch see f5's on a key-board,
    this could have been much more creative, the flow was bad because of the syllable count, rule of thumb is you don't want your second line to be shorter then your first, it usually doesn't work out well for your flow.
    try fly, U won't fly high with any rhymes,
    Ur just a pussy who watched top gun too many times
    what exactly does try fly mean? lol.. this would only be good if it was a personal, you would have to find a quote where he said something along the lines of "I enjoy watching top gun" then it was make more sense for you to put up here. As it stands its what we call a filler bar, which is used to fill lines for battles where you don't feel like wasting good bars or feel the need to do so. I use fillers all the time in FL.

    but basically got told it wuz shit lol I like dis site dude, any chance of some help? Peace

    ^hope some of that helps a bit. Do some research on who ever the top guys are such as Salamander, Alphabet, King, Architype, Barcotic, Feeble Minded, Tim, $pitacular, Born 2 Kill, Beyond, King, God of War, Cry, John Hensley, and you are bound to find some really good stuff for research and how to formulate proper hit.
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  13. #28
    Kami no kotoba. Wordz AhGod.'s Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    Quote Originally Posted by Wine-O View Post
    Help me please. Need to elevate again
    done. next.
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  14. #29
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    anybody willing to help me elevate. im always told my setups, concepts and multies are good but I need help with the wording a bit, and mostly just hard hitting punches. I setup good, then my punch comes too lax. I have great ideas and concepts, so idk if my shit is too wordy or its just the way im saying it. Maybe I need to be more direct, or indirect? anybody willing to help id appreciate it.

  15. #30
    Kami no kotoba. Wordz AhGod.'s Avatar
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    Re: Battling Elevation

    send me your best verse via PM.. I'll review it some time tomorrow morning and post it here.
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