due Nov 13th
five-minute max
can use more than one beat
mal diction
Fresh
due Nov 13th
five-minute max
can use more than one beat
Last edited by Phalanx; December 20th, 2022 at 10:00 PM
https://soundcloud.com/user-50149989...e-fat-joe-beat
Yes yes yall… let the geek fall/
This battle, i’ll get started, mal will defeat all//
Fresh, you’re not fresh, partner lets get it straight/
You’re just a square out of line.. no mistake//
Just a missed take, end of story, no add lib/
I’m plane mode, that fly… you lack spits//
You can noshow… No need for you to respond/
Cus you couldn't throw a rock in a uterus pond//
You’re just a gay joke, like the movie bros/
the position you prefer’s the uttanasana pose// ooh ta na sa na
Stop the jokes, my chain you must be tugging/
I mean… You really wear your hat like that in public//
prolly stuck in the nineties wearing your hammer pants/
The only dude at the party doing the hammer dance //
You’re a clown.. what ballers call a self check/
After this verse.. i won’t have many L’s left //
This is an elf versus a giant only i sling shots/
Spit harder than heimlich rhymes kicky like Thailand//
Place your bets cus i’m in, this is a mismatch/
I Rock hard when i flow, call me the people's champ// ]
Picture him on the front lines of black lives matter/
Or getting stumped out cus.. black lives matter//
Freaking pansy, who you? … better off in a tutu/
Take you to school bruised, All your rhymes are boo-boo//
I could spot you fifty in a game to ten/
And still win by one hundred.. by the days end//
You must be taking.. me for a joke, so fun i poke/
What stuff.. are you on? Something we need to smoke//
Picture dude in baggy jeans - Jncos without a crease /
Throwing up the west side, doing the crip walk//
You’ll get stalked, i’ll walk you down on the track
This cat’s wack… i want my time back
Maybe If you read a book, gave education a look/
Or lived the life, of the ppl, you like, who pose as crooks//
Maybe we’ll take you seriously, you freaking geek/
You wouldn't pack heat, if you lived in tee-pees//
MD Fresh acupuncture.. joke i poke/
We’re not even listening to words you spoke//
So dont waste your time, i’m a up hill climb/
And in hills.. you play the role of Jill, i find //
You talk tough on the net, but lack respect /
The biggest joke about you’s that you call yourself fresh//
I mean.. Do giraffe’s call themselves ants/
Or do bugs deny to call themselves pest//
You're Not the one or the two, the three nor the four/
Your rhymes are just weak. i beseech you to score//
You’re reaching and more, my speech is just gore/
And you’re not seeing flows, Minus sea and the shore//
Plus you’re not as good as you say you are/
Or think you are, strike notes like a stringed guitar//
what do you really wanna do? kid you’re through/
You’re facing the vet, silent you’re best kept//
Got me pissed like fresh step, more cat than fresh step/
Shooting, guess who, you, below the belt like Fresh step!//
No way, will you ever, be on my tier, it’s clear/
I’m too clever, ..your attempts get severed //
By any measure… who do you think you are? /
You’re lion king, only we’re thinking scar//
Cast the first stone.. who’s to debate you’re hard?/
The 50 cal.’ll Put you to sleep, you’ll awake in parts//
Would make jokes about your girl, but they wouldn't be true/
Get it straight.. not even you want to be with you//
I know you prolly thinking, where the punchlines at/
An entendre to show you cant see my punchlines… <- that//
With your cat in the hat raps, talking crap in that chat/
In my neck-of-the-woods, Say nigga and get slapped//
Fresh i’m not a thug, in fact i live in the burbs/
But your lame self even got your burbs pass returned//
rhymes are colossal a military obstacle/
When ICU you’ll wish it was the hospital//
You still want to be black? move somewhere tropical/
The only logical way to stop niggas from bopping you//
don't be ashamed of yourself cus that’s the way it seems /
Hey i know we all don’t Wear, tall tees with skinny jeans//
But that’s your life, stan put down the butter knife/
And pick up a hobby like crocheting or riding bikes//
Preferably ten speeds cus that’s more your speed/
Or meditate.. and take time to breathe//
And that’s about it, that’s all she wrote/
Maybe now, you’ll think twice, before a nigga.. joke//
aka Sorrow: the Broken Wing
https://freshrb.bandcamp.com/track/t...nabolicz-beats
Best I could get. Some static in the middle but i dont have time to fuck with it. Good luck
Fresh
"You come across like a rat, I got a bad habit
I see a man of your stature n take a stab at it
You’ll see him run out the back all in a mad panic
He’ll use his kid as a shield, just let the dad have it"
That was great, and coincidentally it happened at the perfect moment. The distortion ended up taking away from that brief segment where you were delivering a flow-heavy rhyme scheme, as it overshadowed the effort you put in, the distortion ended and you came in with that segment, which was just super impactful in delivery and content.
I also enjoyed this segment
"Look at this persona that you’re aiming to be
Now my sights are set on you, cause you were aiming at me
Keep on talking shit, I’ll bust your face n your teeth
You’re from the dirty south… bitch you’re more racist than me"
Nice wordplay at the beginning then you went comical, which are two attributes that I always look for in a battle. Oh and I know there isn't any wordplay as in a specific word being flipped, I was referring to how you used the word "aiming" and centered that bar around it. It was smooth and well-delivered.
Mal
Okay, before I get into your high spots I want to point out that this in and of itself was a style clash, and I absolutely HATE style clashes in battles. Off rip, let me say this...you can flow. You have a great old school vibe to you, like 80's type Hip-Hop. I actually enjoyed just listening to you get busy on the beat. With that said, I don't think this beat complimented your style. The beat itself was epic, but it didn't mesh with your style. You should of used an old school boombap or beatbox type beat instead, because for that epicness I mentioned a second ago, your style and delivery wasn't really suited for it, in fact I would say that it interfered to the extent that what you were saying, how you were rapping it, and the way you performed overall just felt really misplaced.
Also, I recognize that you really don't use punchlines, and I get that, because with your style and delivery, it would be difficult to write punchlines. So it's all good with me, the thing about style clashes is that I hate them, but I'm also openminded about looking at content from a different perspective. Earlier I told you that I was hip to your style and could appreciate it, which I did, very unique and characteristic of your writing. However, there is a problem I noticed that could have been addressed had you used the punchline approach. When I say that, I don't mean you should of used punchlines. What I'm referring to is the way a punchline is constructed, with the setup being just as important as the closer. Look here:
"You must be taking.. me for a joke, so fun i poke/
What stuff.. are you on? Something we need to smoke//"
"Stop the jokes, my chain you must be tugging/
I mean… You really wear your hat like that in public//"
"MD Fresh acupuncture.. joke i poke/
We’re not even listening to words you spoke//"
Alright, what I want to highlight here is the setups, because I look at these bars and I see punchlines. You might not think of them like that, but to me I see a setup followed by the punch. The setups here were just so counterproductive, both in execution and material-wise. This could probably be attributed to your style and what makes it so unique, but I can argue that you can still keep that style and be a better writer in the process. Those setups were indicative of bad writing, at times borderline silly.
Now on to the goodness.
"You can noshow… No need for you to respond/
Cus you couldn't throw a rock in a uterus pond//"
Kind of basic, yes. But...lmao. The wordplay "uterus pond" will forever bring me joy.
"Stop the jokes, my chain you must be tugging/
I mean… You really wear your hat like that in public//"
The setup here was really detrimental to this bar, it effectively turned a 1-2 Punch into a one-liner. The one-liner itself was comedy, but the way you set it up was cringe, and that really did the bar a disservice.
"The biggest joke about you’s that you call yourself fresh//
I mean.. Do giraffe’s call themselves ants/
Or do bugs deny to call themselves pest//"
This was cool because it felt like you dissed him philosophically. Like I heard that, and I felt somewhat enlightened, in a deeply profound way.
Alright, I have Fresh taking the win. Regardless of what beats you guys used or the styles you rapped with, the most important aspect of this battle was quality writing. Fresh was the better writer here.
v - Fresh
Vote Fresh
If you want a more elaborate vote, I won't have any problem amending this. Fresh had the cleaner mix, felt more energetic, his cadence was more battle-oriented and well suited for the beat, and his material sounded better, overall. Neither really went for the jugular, but I'd certainly say Fresh verse checked all the boxes for what you'd expect from an audio battle. Mal, I believe cleaning your mixing up would help tremendously. I can hear everything you're saying, but it just sounds 'busy' when listening to it. Also, this didn't need to be that long.
Edit: cleaned thread
Last edited by Celph Taut; November 25th, 2022 at 09:55 AM
CypherAlumni
Vincent | Sammy | Vallus | Dose Blotter | Onceawhile | Virbius | Bag Mandela | Celph Taut
Where tf is the audio?
Vote Fresh
"Sound stuff out guys" - Barcotic
Mal, this wasnt as bad as I was expecting. But not great either. Flow and delivery were very monotone and emotionless. Conceptually, you leaned on an iffy personal, but never really did damage with it. Alot of this felt very statementish.
Fresh, this was decent, but not great. Flow was decent, but your delivery sounded like you would rather be wayching paint dry. Started slow, but had some solid personal digs in the middle. Ended pretty anticlimatic fashion
Overall, this was decent. Both hsve room for improvement, but Fresh did enough with the personals to edge itn
4-0 fresh ...thx for voting... good battle Fresh.. i disagree but good battle...
aka Sorrow: the Broken Wing
v/Fresh
I listened to these when you guys dropped them originally and again now. Mal im not a fan of your cadence and you lack aggression in your bars. you have potential imo but you need a better beat selection and to get rid of that echo on your voice. I thought your material was okay but it lacked any haymakers. Fresh. you sound like you have marbles in your cheeks, reminds me of like an angered beaver rapping. interesting. and yea your mic was ultra ass but your cadence was on point, and you wrote to the beat perfectly. and you had some bars in here. even the simple bars are pretty dope because of the cadence and literally, everything is attacking Mal including the setups. so it felt more of a barrage as opposed to mals more steady-paced disses.
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Fresh wins 5-0.