JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
LIFE LESSON #1: PLEASE REMEMBER TO ALWAYS TIP YOUR BARBER GUYS
I CANT EVEN TELL YOU WHAT IN THE THIRD WORLD IS HAPPENING HERE BUT HE GOT THAT QUANTUM MECHANIC SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM HAIRLINE
WE DONT KNOW WHERE IT BEGINS, OR HOW IT ENDS, BUT SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT SPACE THE LAWS OF PHYSICS COMPLETELY BREAK DOWN AND RENDER ALL CURRENT METHODS OF THINKING IRRELEVANT
EAR TO NOSE RATIO ON 1: 9999 TOO
IF NARVELL HELD A SEA-SHELL UP TO HIS EAR, INSTEAD OF GENTLE WAVES CRASHING AGAINST ROCKS ALL HE WOULD HEAR IS “WTF HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR YOU DUSTY OLD BROKE FAGGOT? PUT ME DOWN. IMMEDIATELY” ROFLZZZ
NOSE SHAPED LIKE THE VACUUM CLEANER HIS FUCKING FEATURELESS ROOM HAS NEVER REQUIRED ONCE
LOOKING LIKE FLOYD MAYNEVER AHAHAHAHAHAHA
I DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT BASEBALL CARDS TO BE REAL, BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS THAT THOSE FLORAL BEDSHEETS HAVEN’T SEEN ANY ACTION OUTSIDE OF THE LOCAL LAUNDROMAT
NARVELL KEEPS A COIN ON A STRING AROUND HIS NECK THAT HE’S PERFECTED THE TECHNIQUE OF INSERTING TO JUST THE RIGHT DEPTH TO FOOL THE MECHANISM BEFORE RETRIEVING IT TO SAVE HIMSELF A WHOLE DOLLAR EACH TIME HE VISITS
SPENDS THE DOLLAR ON POINTLESS BASEBALL CARDS NOONE EVEN COLLECTS ANYMORE SINCE NFT’S BECAME A THING
NARVELLS OWNS A PRISTINE GRADED BILLY BEAN BASEBALL CARD YET HE’S THE ONE WHO’S THE GRADE A FAGGOT AHAHAHAHIFIRBROFJFMABAZZZZ
GOLD TEETH STUNTING SELFIE FOR INSTAGRAM, YET CANT AFFORD HIS OWN WASHING MACHINE. GROWN MAN LOGIC.
WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THAT BARBED WIRE RIDDLED WARZONE YOU’RE IN AND WHY ARE YOU REMOVING YOUR GUANTANAMO BAY AF1’S TO TAKE A PHOTO FOR EXACTLY? ROFLZZZ
LOOKS LIKE WHOEVER RINGED THAT BARBED WIRE FENCE ALSO MOONLIGHTS PART TIME AS YOUR LOCAL BARBER
CANT TELL WHO LESS STRAIGHT, BILLY BEAN OR THIS FUCKING RETARDS UGLY SHAPE UP
FOUND A DISCARDED SHOE ON THE WAY HOME FROM LAUDRY DAY AND SOLD IT FOR TWENTY BILLION ZIMBABWEAN DOLLARS
IN REAL MONEY THAT EQUATES TO THE SAME AS HIS SPOTIFY REVENUE STREAM
BUILT HIS OWN DESK TO COUNT HIS EARNINGS ON
IMAGINE BEING ONLINE IN 2023 BROWSING FROM THIS AMAZING HOME BUILT WOODEN TABLE SETUP ROFLZZZZ
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