Dreams and Nightmares
I’m in so much pain and confused
How it go from perfect to just being used
I never felt long before or at least didn’t remember
But you never dealt the score until late December
Players club? Didn’t know I was a member
And they didn’t know that I stand to…
But they knew they hid me where the men were
Acting like it was me when they knew it was you
Coming out of Harlem with a perfect score
I ain’t seen paper in a minute but that’s not what I did it for
2/4… that’s why we here
Did it since 95 almost every year
But now I’m lost…
Cause one day all the sudden I began to fear
And the voices came of laughing and cheer
But we was supposed to be we’re… nah I never seen that though
Just betrayal
But Yo - you can step any fucking day hoe
Instincts of a spider done crept up inside her
Didn’t understand why I was filled with so much fire
But we couldn’t prove that bitch was just a liar
I broke when he didn’t chose me, he chose Desire
I should’ve left when he changed on me
I thought everything would be perfect when he got free
Jealous bitches were still hating but nobody would intervene
Didn’t know I was married to the game but knew I could never talk about all I seen
What would you do?
If almost every person you ever loved betrayed and traded you
Never knowing that loyalty back
Pretending to love me as a form of attack
And now… 24 years my senior
They throw the play and try to feen her
My demeanor?
You expect the worst so anything that’s better keep you happy
Every nightmare was served including them killing pappy
That’s just what that be
On my conscience like it was always my fault
Throwing up cause I finally realized why I threw up all that salt
I get it now and like wow… ok
They just caught… and it’s why they hang on every word that I say
Asking for paper now when I pray but that’s not ever changed
Love just not for me
I don’t want arranged either
I don’t know why but that’s just how it be
If it’s him or him - I’m just like neither
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